Homemakers
I have been talking to parents (mostly moms) of other children that have joined the kindergarten V goes to. And I never fail to notice one thing (the funniest part is that I made this observations at V's play school too).
Women think it is inferior to be stay-at-home moms. One of the first questions that is asked after the initial "hello, I am so-and-so, so-and-so's mom", is "Do you work?". I have mixed answers to that question. I sometimes say that I work from home, but that usually complicates subsequent dialogs. For example, yesterday, I met a mom who asked me and I said that I work from home. "As what?" was the next question. It seemed too much to tell her that I am science writer, that writes proposals for an R&D company. So, I merely said that I was a writer, and her following query was, "what is your pseudonym (புனைப்பெயர்)" ! So, I usually say "no", to people whom I will most likely never be meeting again !
But I digress.
So, when I ask them back if they have a job (other than mom, of course), most of them, say that they are housewives, in an apologetic voice, and quickly follow it up with "I used to work before kid came along but now I cant find time.." or "I have been getting a lot of job offers, but I have been refusing them because of the kid", or defensive statements like "having a mom around is very important for the child, so I don't approve of mom working". My reaction is that "I merely asked, I don't want justification".
But really, what is so wrong about being a stay-at-home mom? All of us have our own set of talents and strengths, why do we have to undermine them, just because we are not adding to the family coffer? For example, the stay-at-home mom might actually grind her own dosa batter instead of buying it ready made, as is done by someone I know who works from home as a science writer ! And the stay-at-home mom would probably wash her child's face, brush the hair, and generally make the kid fresh and more presentable in the evening, unlike a kid I know, rather intimately, who looks like she went through the clothes drier without antistat guard on by evening.
So, today, when someone asked me if I worked, I merely said "no", and did not ask her back ! I probably came out looking like a big snob.
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You should talk to Priya. She claims she has three jobs, part-time doctor, full-time wife, full-time mom, with the addition of a fourth full-time job of daughter-in-law whenever my mother visits.
Priya is very right ! Like it is said "A mom's work is NEVER done" ! I would alter that to: "A woman's work is never done !".
Working from home needs discipline. I tried that, and scatternrain me would get pulled away with a few thousand stuff around the house. But it sure helps a whole lot with being 'mom' - I feel so guilty asking others to help now with the kids' stuff .. :(
scatterbrain and not scatternrain.
scattering rain indeed!!
Beautiful post!
I hate this VOX thing though! I had to create an account and do all that good stuff just to post my comment. I'm not even sure u got my previous comment. It shows only one line (of my original comment on the earlier post that I visited) & I'm pretty sure that I had typed more... grrrrrrrr.
TBC
But this way, I can be sure that people who comment have taken the pains to create an account, and so they instantly get on to my friends list :)