11 posts tagged “dreams”

Dreams

There is a Tamil film song that goes "Chinna Chinna Aasai", that roughly (literally) translates to "Small small desires".  Here are mine:

- See the sun rise over the Bay of Bengal.  The Elliots beach is a 10 minute-drive from where I live, but I have not yet seen the sun rise (from hearsay, a spectacular sight) because it involves (a) waking up at 4.30 AM, if I have to be at the beach at sunrise time of 5.00 AM. I have not seen the world before six yet in the past few years.  (b) finding a mode of travel to the destination at that time.  Now that I drive the car outside, this hurdle can be crossed, I suspect.

- On a pleasant Chennai day (when the weather is neither a scorching 110 degrees, nor is it raining cats and dogs), I would like to leave home after a cup of coffee, a refreshing bath and visit the Parthasarathy temple, to witness the early morning "Goshti" waking up the deity. Hurdle (a) still holds good for this one as the Thiruppalliyezuchi takes place at 6.30 AM.  I have done this earlier in life.  Wake up at 5.30, take a quick bath, walk up to Panagal park, take route 12 from there, get off at Ice house and walk to the temple.  Makes for a good physical and spiritual exercise. 

-  Wear a dress that fits me well, suits me fine, designed stylish, and is comfortable.  Is it even possible?

-  Sew my ear.  The heavy ornamental ear stud I wear has taken a toll on the ear lobe, which now sags, the hole for the stud bigger than it should be. I wish I could find a cosmetic surgeon who can stitch up the enlarged opening so that I can wear snug fit, styllish ear studs (although I suspect I won't).

- Eat molagai bajji (Jalapno fry) in the beach without worrying about acidity, cholesterol and E-coli. In my first trimester years ago, dude made molagai bajjis for his salivating pregnant wife, using the hottest chillies available in the Indian store, and when his eyes and nose watered at the mere aroma of it, I gobbled it up complaining that they weren't hot enough.

- Play volley ball.  I used to be in the team in school, and now as I wait for my daughter outside her school and watch older boys (why is it that only boys play ball in her school, girls playing stuff like Kho Kho?) play VB, I feel wistful to join them.

-  Write a story.  I used to write good stories in college, some of them even won prizes. Now for the life of me, I cannot.  Imagination has probably retired.

- Learn the Nalayira Divya Prabandam.   

- Read poetry - I cannot understand poetry that don't rhyme (e.g. "Tiger tiger burning bright")

- Fight with someone and not cry half way through it.

Listing them down has made one thing very clear in my mind.  I will do all of this in a year.  Hold me responsible for my words.

Image from http://dryicons.com/files/graphics_previews/midnight_dreams.jpg

Dream

Deadline at least a fortnight away.  All hunky dory at the home front, except perhaps, a nasty cold the child is nursing.  Yet, dreams galore.  Could it be the "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" in bed last night?

My car-pool friend S, her oldest daughter, V and I take an auto to go home in coastal Andhra Pradesh (why A.P?).  We are waiting in some place, looking at a lake ahead of us.  The lake suddenly turns into a river in spate (yup, Indy effect), and we are carried along to a distant place. We manage to get out of the water and the obliging auto driver drives us ahead. We reach the the oceanfront.  I tell S that now we know directions, we need to go North along the Bay of Bengal to reach A.P.

We travel Northwards, and seized by sudden doubt, I approach a group of young women sitting on a wall and ask them where the heck we are. They reply that this is the West Bengal-Orissa border and I realise with a shock that we have travelled more northwards than was necessary (impeccable Geography, even in dreams, what? Mrs. Eipe would be so proud).  S suggests that we just stay in a hotel that night and resume travel southwards the next morning.  Obsessing over dude's worry about us, I insist that it is only seven in the evening, and if we travel non-stop we should reach A.P by ten (now that would require a jet-plane, right?).  So, we continue our sojourn, the auto gets into an elevator and exits the elevator as a car driven by S's husband S and all their three kids in it, along with V and me.  I am tired, the kids are asleep, and we travel on.

The alarm rang at this point and I woke up wondering where I was.

Dream

There is a direct link between my work deadlines and dreams, it seems. 

I am off with friend S to the zoo(?) one evening, and on the way back, S drops me back at Dr. M's office. I lie on the couch and sort out my papers, which are a colossal mess, thinking to myself that I need to call home and tell the husband and kid not to worry that I am not back with S and that I will return shortly.  Meanwhile Dr. M lands up and says that the doctors are waiting for us in the conference room, to discuss the project, and I just gather all the papers and rush to the conference room, dropping papers in the way.    The doctors are old, prim-and-proper, old men, who acknowledge me with a nod and I think to myself what distinguished company I am in, also worrying that I have not called home, and I wonder what the dude and kid are doing. As I settle down on a couch, trying to put my papers together again, the doctors start reciting poetry.  POETRY?

At this point, the most merciful dude, with uncanny insight to my need to get over this madness, put me out of my misery, with a steaming cup of coffee, brought straight to bed.  May his tribe increase.

Dreams

I don't take siestas regularly, but the end-of-deadline relief, coupled with four different types of rice dishes for Kanu and some woolly head from cold medication (Waterbury's compound, anyone?) pushed me into bed this afternoon into a fitful nap.

I am in my ancestral house in Triplicane. [Digression/clarification: The house, as with most agraharam houses, is a longish structure, with rooms linearly arranged, and two kitchens - one for cooking "madi" meals and the other for corrupting food like coffee and tea]. I am making rice in a four-burner stove in the inner kitchen, and leave milk for boiling in the three burner stove in the coffee kitchen.  I switch off both stoves and come to the hall for some time, and when I return, I find all burners in all stoves are on, and I panic.  I tell my husband that I distinctly remember switching off the stoves, and while I am talking, my husband turns into my mother, and my heart skips a beat because, my mother has been dead a long time

Apart from the psychadelic effect of Waterbury's compound and alcohol from all the fermented thengai sadam, elumichambazam sadam, puliyodarai and thayir sadam, I suspect the brain is rebelling at all the cooking I have been subjecting myself to this Pongal and is subtly hitting my head with a hammer and shouting "DON'T ENTER THE KITCHEN FOR THE NEXT 46 HOURS".  As for reference to our ancesteral house and my husband turning into my late mother, I have no clue

Dreams

Last night's dream takes the cake on weirdness.

Dreams

Not updating my dream journal does not mean I have been cured of it.  It just means the dreams have been too blah to merit a post.

Last night, my dreams reached a new level of weirdness.  Somewhere in this jungle of posts at vox, I have mentioned that I have intense examophobia and often dream of going to exams unprepared, or late.  Last night I dreamt that my four-and-half year old daughter goes to her exam (in upper kindergarten?)  late because I chose to entertain guests rather than take her to the exam hall on time. 

I dread that I am going to re-experience examophobia with my daughter's life.  I am sure I will not be able to withstand another 18 years of that. 

Dreams

I am rechecking some calculations that I have been doing. I realise with a shock that I have used a wrong value for a formula because I forgot to check the units of "R".  I am not sure if I should use the value of R as J/m2 or J/cm2.  So, I ask dude since he is into thermodynamics and stuff, and he says that would depend upon the units of the other variables in the formula.  I then pick up a Clark's table and try to find out the value of R, when Mr. DP calls and blasts me for not rechecking the formula before sending it to him.

Dude and I decide to go for an icecream, and walk up to our local icecream shop.  There is an ATM before the shopping center, in which, whom do I see but SA, my best friend since nursery.  So, I go say hi to her, while she points out SI, the other close friend from nursery. I rush up to SI because I have not seen her in AGES, and proceed to give her a hug, but she calmly avoids the hug and gives me a hand shake.  And then I turn to see a line forming outside the ATM machine with all the girls from my high school.  I try to hug each of them, V, M etc. and all of them uniformly avoid the hug.  So then, I go in for the icecream and realise that all of them are going for  a movie and have not called me.  I am very upset and start sulking, and decide that there is no point sulking, I might as well get back to my formula.  So, I am pouring over the formula again when M &V invite me to the movie. I refuse to go.

Facts

1. Dr. DP had called me yesterday to discuss some excel sheet I had sent him, but I was with family and therefore promised to call him back, but forgot to.
2. Dude, V and I went for an icecream yesterday to our local ice cream shop.
3. I don't have a single paisa on me and need to go to the ATM.
4. We have google-groups of high school classmates, and there has not been too much activity in it lately.
5. I wonder if I miss SI and SA and feel left out at both of them being in one country while I in another?  But that is ridiculous, because I get to seeing them (at least one of them) more often than they meet each other...so...I don't know what the big deal is, about them watching a movie without me.

Dreams

I am standing with Dr. M (The cardiologist I am assisting) outside a nondescript, scary, multistory building (just what is it with scary tall buildings and me? They come in EVERY dream). We enter the building and I find it to be my father's house.  We go upstairs and I find my dad sleeping in the hall.  I go to the toilet, and Dr. M stands outside the toilet and tells me about the various emails that he had been sending me about a project that I have not even been reading.  I am thinking with panic as I am peeing that I am clueless about the project, how am I going to write the report. Dr. M then tells me that my last report was incomplete and I have stopped with figure 12, and need to finish it before the weekend because they would have to submit it to someone on Monday. Then, we come into the hall and I introduce Dr. M to my father. My dad tells Dr. M that he woke up at four that morning and has not been able to sleep since.  Dr. M says he has "insomnia". 

Facts: 

• I had a meeting scheduled with Dr. M in the morning, and I slept telling myself that I need to wake up early and make breakfast before I go out to meet him. 
• My bladder was full. 
• I have really not been following a recent thread of mails from Dr. M and gang, and therefore AM clueless about the latest project, which is actually ok, because I am not directly involved. 
• I am ALWAYS dissatisfied with any of my writeups.  I guess that is normal with any writer.
•  A couple of days ago, at a family gathering, all my relatives were complaining of insomnia.

What a garbage bag my mind is.

Dreams

My friend "SI" is with her baby daughter.  SI is wearing our high-school uniform.  I go to meet her outside some random buildings with lots of windows.  Then a big blur.  My daughter  is in my arms now.  Another big blur.  I am mad at my daughter about something.  And then I try to explain to my grandmother who SI is.  I get frustrated that she does not remember SI, considering that SI and I have known each other from kindergarten.  My husband then calls me from inside the house to take care of the baby (what baby?) as he has to go to office. 

I don't know what a hangover is, but this is what it should feel like.  Was it the aspirin I had last night for a headache?

And it is just the start of the day.  Oh, Joy.

Dreams

I am finally convinced that I should start a dream journal. I could win a Pulitzer compiling them, or could inspire a future Freud (Purplesque?) or at least get rid of the junk in my head.

Dream: My friend L invites us to her new house.  The house is different, you enter into a living room, there is a kitchen beyond, and a flight of stairs leading to the basement where there are bedrooms and the dining room.  I wonder how she cooks upstairs and moves stuff downstairs to eat.  To which L replies that there is a small kitchenette downstairs that she uses to cook, and the kitchen upstairs is for "show" only.  And then she tells me that the "Saraswathi" idol in her puja room drinks milk.  My husband asks me why I have nutcases for friends.  So, L wants to prove it to us and takes us downstairs.  There are a lot of people seated there in front of plantain leaves, to be served a meal.  The cook gives us an egg each to eat.

This dream was probably inspired (?!) by the following facts - L did move into a new house recently, I saw a nice reverse glass painting of saraswathi at her new house (Ok, I AM obsessed), my friend S has a house that has bedrooms in the main floor and kitchen and dining area upstairs, there was a mass hysteria of milk-drinking Ganesha some years back and we had eggs for breakfast yesterday.