9 posts tagged “vasundara”

My four-year old is shocked beyond words. Absolutely stunned.   She is unable to believe that some people use paper and not water to clean up after essential bodily functions.

"How can they use paper? Won't 'it' stick?,"
"Won't they get fever because of infection?",  
"Are you sure they don't dip the paper in water before they use it?" 
"Do they use it after both moochaa and aai?",
"Does athai (her aunt who lives in the US) use paper?",
"Does athai use paper on baby S (V's six-month old cousin)?".

And then it struck her like a thunderbolt.  Amma and appa lived in the US before she was born.  Her eyes widen.  She throws an accusing glance at me and screams- "You and appa used PAPER in the US?". 

Mom and dad have feet of clay, afterall.

Just wait until she finds out that she did not grow from a seed inside mommy.

How do you answer this question by a four-year-old:

Why do boys swim wearing only a "jatti" (*Panty) while girls have to wear a swim suit?

PS: I tried searching for  the picture of a nice swimsuit to use with this post, but I will pass, for the obvious results that came out of google images.

At least I have something (however inconsequential) to blog about...

Three kids and three moms went to the zoo at Vandalur today, after weeks and weeks of planning that was, until today, continuously aborted by one of the following reasons - three kids being sick in turns, three moms pms-sing in turns, three moms meeting deadlines in turns, out-of -seasonal rains, driver not free, car serviced etc. so much so that we wondered if providence had a problem with our zoo trip.  Anyway, providence relented today, perhaps impressed with our Gajini Mohammedian never-say-die spirit. 

I am not sure if the kids were excited or not, but I could see that the three moms - Lelitha (thanks to whose car and driver the trip was possible), Sulatha and mua, could not wink an eye last night with the butterflies fluttering around in the abdominal area.  Anyway it happened.  And may I add (*blush*) that yours truly has NEVER visited a zoo before today?  (Guindy national park is NOT a zoo).

Anyway, the good thing about Vandalur zoo is that most of the animals are not caged in and had a sizable landscape to roam about in .  The panthers and birds were, though, and looked pretty unhappy about it.  Here are a (very) few pictures taken by Lelitha of our trip, we were too engrossed in having the kids watch the animals rather than the human beings around, that we forgot all about the camera. 

Of course, I could just drop down dead with exhaustion now, but am holding out just to finish this post.

The first photo is a cheat-shot. It was apparently shot by Lelitha during her earlier trip to the zoo. We saw the white tiger today, but not at such close quarters.

The fellow in the above picture was quite a showoff.  Couldn't stop flaunting his plumage to any lady that passed by (there were three of them in the cage), but the gals would not give him even a glance. Poor fellow went "hey, look at me..come on.. lets do it baby...no?  Ok, next one.. YOU look at me.. hey wait don't go..aw shucks.. thats ok..third woman..now don't you walk out on me..".

It was a big day for wooing. The white fellow was simply hitting on the other MALE in the cage.

And now I will drop down dead.  

The CBSE board's school leaving certificate exam (translation: XIIth std. public exam) begins today.  When I went to drop V at her school , the road was jam packed with all kinds of vehicles and parents waiting outside after having deposited their wards at the exam-hall.   What struck me most was the look of terror in most of the parents' faces.  There was pin drop silence, some parents were biting their nails, a few others sitting in front of the little pillayar temple at the entrance, deep in prayer and a few more trying to look cheerful, but their hearts quaking their entire being.  Oh, God, I thought to myself, will I go through this too?

As usual, the wheels spun.  I studied in a state board school (Anglo-Indian until Xth), and having not scored as much as I had expected in the X std. public exam, I had put in every possible effort into the school-final public.  I had finished studying the entire portions in December and revised and re-revised until D-day.  And on the first morning of exams, I remember being in panic because there was a big blank in my head, and I believed I had forgotten everything.  Which was far from the case, once I started writing the exam, but I still get palpitations at the memory of the day.  Math was especially excruciating - I was sure I was going to pass-out with all the dy/dx's staring at me from the question paper.   From then on, every exam continued to haunt me.  In W.C.C., at I.I.T., my GRE, TOEFL, TSE, Qualifiers at SU...  they continue to bully me in nightmares now.

But something good came out of it too.  I have grown to believe that exams are not the ultimate shaping factor in life.  Scoring a century in Math, or being the topper in school does not really make you knowledgeable or intelligent by a long shot.  If any, it gives you a false sense of self-worth, which when thwarted (it WILL be, in real life) can plummet your confidence into the netherworlds.  This I can say from personal experience.  The self-esteem that burrowed deep after I discovered that the school-first award does not make you a genius is just about beginning to slowly wake up from rock-bottom.  And I am handling it with extreme caution lest it decides to call it a day and goes back to rockier-still areas.

I hope my daughter does not grow to believe that studying for exams is more important than learning.  I hope she gets more education out of school than I did.

And I hope I don't join the ranks of the nail-biting parents I saw outside school today.

Do you know of fly traps?  I am a trap too, not of flies, but of moms who can talk of nothing else but the different "classes" their children go to.  There must be some invisible rays emnating from me that indicate that I want to hear all about the multifaceted, multi-talented, multi-trained Einstein-Balasaraswathi-M.S Subbulakshmi-Michael Jackson-Alfred Hitchcock-Shakespeare-Tholkaapiyar-Ilayaraja-Bach-rolled-into-one prodigy of yours.

Last night, my daughter's classmate's mom telephoned me to invite me to a concert of her elder son, aged 12.  The boy is talented, and shows promise.  So far, so good.  And then what she said blew me away.  She says (if you know what it is, translate what follows into TamBram Tamil) -

I am getting very worried about S (V's classmate, 4 years old).  I have to start putting her in classes.. I am already late.  She will be going to UKG (upper kindergarten) next year, and I have not even started looking at classes for her.  When A (the elder-brother) was in LKG (lower kindergarten), I took him to music class, dance class, piano class, tennis, gymnastics, karate, painting and choreography (choreography for a three-year old?).

I was quite disturbed about what I heard. My balance was shaken, and peer pressure threatened to get the better of me, until I took one look at my sleeping four-year old angel and better sense prevailed. I put the conversation behind me and moved on to the next day.

Today, at school, I was five minutes earlier than usual (blame it on the light traffic), and joined a group of moms (of kindergarteners) talking of ...yes...classes their wards are enrolled in.  This was how the conversation ran (in Tamil):

Parent 1: This year, my summer is going to be busy.  I have put <junior> in a summer camp, and since he is only 4 years old, the organizers want the parent to stay on for the entire program.
Parent 2:  what summer camp is this?
Parent 1: Conducted by <so-and-so>.  They teach the kids painting, clay sculpture, mathematics, Western dance (?), bharathanatiyam and Carnatic music.  The camp is for 20 days from nine to three on weekdays. They provide lunch and snacks.
Parent 3: That sounds like a great program.  Can you give me the address so that I can put <junior> too?
Parent 4: I would love to put <junior>, but she is already going to be busy. I have arranged a yoga teacher to come home every day and teach her.  This yoga teacher also teaches sanskrit, and I have requested him to teach her sanskrit too.  Of course, her usual music and dance classes will continue in summer.
Parent 5: Where I live, there is this play school that arranges small programs for kids - it is quite expensive, and my husband is reluctant, but I have been trying to convince him that it is good for <junior>. My husband does not realise that in this competitive world, <junior> has to be exposed early if he can become something.
Parent 1: In a way, I am thinking of withdrawing <junior> from this school and putting him in <another school near by that is known for its "intensive curricular program"> in first class.  The teachers here don't give the kids any home work at all during the week. How can I expect my child to learn ANYTHING at all if they are so lenient?
Parent 3: Yes, I agree. During the last PTM (Parents-Teachers-Meeting), I suggested to the teacher to give them more homework (digression:  in the same PTM, I remember that we (dude and I) thanked the teacher for the relaxed way they are teaching the kid, which actually makes our kid want to learn more - the teacher must have been totally confused about the conflicting feedback she was getting).

And then Parent 4 dropped the bomb shell. She looked at me and asked "What extra-curricular classes does V go to?".
I smiled, held my head high, and said, proudly (honestly) - "None".

Post script:  I am so happy that I live in a campus with like-minded moms.  I need to sincerely thank Lelitha, Sulatha and Indu for reassuring me that I am not alone in my conviction that it is the child's right to enjoy childhood - playing in the sand, loafing around doing nothing, watching ants crawl for hours, play disorganized sport (think Calvinball), scratch their knee falling off low branches, splashing around in the bath tub (or rain puddle) and sleeping late/waking up late on holidays- all else can wait for the end of innocence.

UPDATE: Satya sent this link.  I believe  I will print it out and give it to all the parents in school.

Breeze like the stolen kiss.
Sunshine like mom's hug
Leaves shiny and new
Buds ready to smile
Butterflies flexing their delicate wings..

Spring is here.
Or I am ovulating.

What four years can teach you -

• It is possible to want to hug and spank the same person at the same time, especially when the person is a miniature human being that kicked your innards for twenty weeks and made you throw up your favorite La Madeleine soup (and everything else) for twenty weeks before that.
• You have to catch your breath to stop yourself from passing out laughing at yourself for having complained to a friend that you have a "lot of work to do", five years back.
• You do not, to your consternation, have the kind of patience you prided yourself of having.
• You really cannot answer the question "Tell me what dreams I had last night?".
• You can actually save that last short-bread cookie for someone else.
• It is possible for a human being to talk in questions.  And have EVERY SENTENCE EVER SPOKEN begin with a "why".
• The word "worry" takes on a completely new dimension. And translates to "my life".
• You really don't care if the food is too bland for the rest in the family, because ONE person can't tolerate spice.
• Watching a 14-kg little thing walk into school with her satchel brings tears to your eyes, EVERY DAY.  And you have no clue why.
• You can't believe that you are grown up enough to have someone seek you when she has had a nightmare, or hug you when the lioness chases the gazelle in National Geographic, or expect you to know what death is.  Not fair. Especially, when you are the kind that closes your eyes real tight yourself when the lioness enters the scene.
• You are stumped when you realize that the only reason someone does not want to watch "Jungle Book" is that  little Mogli is separated from his parents. And that gentleness just breaks your heart.
• You can hold back your tears when you are punishing someone for having thrown a tantrum, or not putting the toys away or doodling with her meal.  Of course, you have a good cry in the toilet afterwards. And feign a sudden attack of cold when people question your red nose.
• You yearn for one day of "time alone", and when you actually get it, call it off as the silence is simply maddening.
• Your voice is now a few hundred decibels louder than it was four years back, and yet, you can't hear yourself over the din.
  

Has it been four years already? 
HAPPY  BIRTHDAY  VASUNDARA.

Update:

May I add that the cake was baked by yours truely in grandmom's stove-top oven? Other snacks include smiley face cucumber/carrot/tomato sandwich and a home-made snack mix consisting of peanuts, almonds, cashews, raisins, popcorn, gems and miniature biscuits (Brita). Washed down with Lychee and mixed fruit juice out of carton.

 

Got this idea from Vijay, in his post. This is how my day (Sunday, July 29th, Thanks Vijay !) has been !

5.30 AM: Mom (me) wakes up to get the milk packets from the door before the monkeys get to it, and then contemplates if she should just get up and about or go back to the very attractive bed. 
7.30 AM: Wakes up for the second time, lazes around in bed for 15 minutes, until V wakes up.
7.45, Little V, fuelled with revenge on being woken sharp at 7.15 AM on week days by a very cruel and uncompromising mom, pesters  non-stop to get out of bed, and so, a very reluctant mom steps out.
8.00: Gets call from mother-in-law that the parents-in-law will be visiting around 11, and that jolts mom from the stupor of half-sleep-half-wakefulness.
Flurry of activity starts
8.15 : Continues to pester little V to "brush your teeth NOW" while multitasking - herself brushing teeth, boiling milk, searching the refrigerator for any sign of vegetables that can be cooked without need to spend too much time chopping (mom HATES chopping vegetables), discover only spinach and beetroot, both of which requiring sigh !, a LOT of chopping.
8.30: Finally gets V to brush her teeth.  Makes Horlicks for V and herself. Talks to dad who is away at his aunt's house, to watch a cricket match on television and generally enjoy his last day of vacation.
9.00: V finishes her Horlicks. (No exaggeration)
9.00-10.00: Chops onions, chops spinach, chops beet root, chops tomatoes, cooks "paruppu", makes rasam, makes keerai kootu, makes beetroot karamadhu...gives V cereal.  Takes her to the toilet some gazillion times thanks to all the barley water mom has been giving her after last week's scare of a urinary infection and subsequent hospitalization for a couple of days that mom does not want to blog about.
10.00-10.15: Takes a much delayed oil-bath with follow-up activities like dressing
10.15-10.18: Gives V a bath ! (You read the duration right!)
10.18-10.25: Dresses up V :  spaghetti sleeve t-shirt, denim mini skirt, pigtail, etc.
10.25-11.10: Tries to feed V.  Gets microscopic amounts of rice and half kilo of beetroot into her.  (Thank God, she loves beetroot).
11.10:  Vijaya ( domestic help) arrives to be instructed on what to do first etc.
11.15: M-i-l and F-i-l arrive.  Mom sighs in relief, at least little V will be out of her hair for the next couple of hours.
11.20-11.25: A very very hungry mom devours food like never before.  (She ALWAYS does that, though !)
11. 25-11.45:  Chats a bit with p-i-l.  Watches childhood photos of the husband that they brought and laughs at how ridiculous he looks (making a mental note that next time mom visits her parent's, she will burn all HER childhood photos).
11.45-12.30 PM: Tries with m-i-l to get little V to nap !  Fat chance. M-i-l falls fast asleep :)
12.30-1.30:   Gives up on V, and starts reading up the tabloids (Kumudam, Ananda Vikatan) brought by f-i-l and laughes at the stupidity of the tabloids.
1.30-1.45:  Cuts an apple for V, makes coffee for herself and f-i-l.
1.45-2.00: Eats snacks and drinks coffee with f-i-l.  Wake up m-i-l.
2.00: P-i-l- leave.
2.00-3.00: Makes noodles for V and feeds her, makes chai for self, goes to the garden (?!) and worries about plants not really growing as fast as she wants them to (she planted them last week, for God's sake)
3.00-4.15  Messes about the garden.  Sweeps off all the dead leaves and logs that last-night's thunderstorm left behind.  Tries to clean up the backyard that is still infested with junk that the repair workmen left behind.  Gives up.
4.15 PM: Mom's father arrives, with three types of bougainvillea saplings. Mom plants one of them, which is all the energy she has.
4.30:  Gives V milk, a wash, and a change of clothes. Sends V with grandfather for a walk so that she can have some silence at home.
4.45-5.00:  Old neighbour arrives for a chat, and stays, until mom very discreetly sends her away (The neighbour swallowed an amplifier as a child, which does not really fit in with the "silence at home" plan).
5.00-5.30: Cleans up kitchen, washes dishes, makes dinner etc.
5.30-6.00: Grandfather and grand daughter arrive.  Grandfather leaves for home.  Mom and daughter have some "quality time" reading a book, and getting on each other's nerves.
6.00:  A friend comes to say bye !  She leaves for Sweden soon for her Ph.D.  Chats with her for half an hour.
6.30:  Two other children arrive, accompanied by their moms - two-and-half-year old malu, and one and half year old Amya for music lessons (Yeah ! right).
6.30-7.00:  A music class of sorts, where mom sings, V bellows, and the two kids watch unblinkingly, stupefied at the noise !  Mom hopes they do not have nightmares tonight !
7.00: V gets cranky due to hunger and sleepiness.
7.00-7.45: Gets some dinner into little V.
7.45-7.50:  Gets some dinner into herself while little V watches Boowaa Kwala.
7.50-8.00: Gets V to sleep !  As easy as A-B-C. Mom loves days that V does not nap in the afternoon - which is everyday !
8.00-8.10: Finishing touches to the kitchen.
8.10: Sits at the computer to WORK !  Opens all her files.
8.15: Decides to take a sneak look into her blog world, just to check on Terri, Scanman, Rads, and the like.
At 10.48: She is still in blogworld.  The files sit there opened and untouched.  In a couple of minutes she will post this piece, shut down the computer and go to sleep.  She needs to get up at 5.15 AM tomorrow if V has be on time at school. So much for working !

PS:  I sound so much like Terri in this post, what with the "mom" thing !! But I forget - Terri and I are twin souls or something to that effect !! :)